Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize