You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
