Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
