I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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