I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
