what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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