I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
