Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
