Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This is my gift to your gina
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
