No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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