We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
