Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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