based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am mentally ready for anal.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
