I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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