Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
