She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Drunk is a universal language darling
that is very illegal...i love you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
