I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
