I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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