Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
