You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The air was thick with penises
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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