i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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