Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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