i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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