don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
