That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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