Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
seriously i just wanna be friends
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.