you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize