what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just blew my weed a kiss
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later