bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
