i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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