Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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