She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
