I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
