At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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