Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
time to smoke my breakfast
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
