the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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