Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
