she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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