Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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