I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize