so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
