there's paper in my vomit.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize