We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
