Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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