The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
