Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
