this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
