and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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