What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Apparently you make a good broom.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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