I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
handjob tips. give me some.
the day after is always just damage control
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
