That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
