Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was CRYING into my vagina
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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