im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
