that's an acceptable place to lick
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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