I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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