you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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