i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We just shotgunned beers for America
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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