There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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