I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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