hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
are you so shy because you have an std?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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